Intensive Coaching for Financial and Insurance Professionals | Build Confidence, Improve Communication, Lead


A few years ago, my fellow coach, Rich Litvin, decided to try speed dating.  About a month after his first experience, he went to a second speed-dating event, where he ran into another guy who he recognized from the first event.

“Did you get many dates from the first one?” the man asked him.

“Three,” Rich replied.

“Oh!” the man exclaimed.  “Well, how many women’s names did you select on the list?”

“Three”, Rich replied.  “Why?  How many dates did you get?”

“Not a single one,” the man admitted with a scowl.

“Well, how many women’s names did you check off on the list?” Rich asked him.

“ALL OF THEM!” the man replied, his scowl turning into a look of deep frustration.

“Needy is creepy,” coach and author Steve Chandler tells his clients when they are baffled by why they are not getting more appointments.

As in the speed-dating example, if you are too eager, a prospective client will get the sense that he or she is just one more person you’re trying to sell something to—and nobody who senses that is going to accept your request for a “date”.

I like to say that your need—for an appointment, for a sale, or for a referral—is the ugliest thing you can show a client.  (A wise-guy branch manager I know once supplemented that statement by saying, “Yeah, that, or a butt crack.”)

You may be desperate for an appointment or a sale, but prospective clients all have their internal receivers tuned into station WII-FM (What’s In It For Me).  They won’t start working with you because you need a client.  They’ll work with you because they need something that you might be able to give them.

If you want more appointments, you need to stop looking—and acting—as if just ANYONE will do.  Here are some suggestions that will help you develop the kind of targeted laser focus you really need to get more (and better) clients:

1. Get clear on whom you’d like to serve, what they need that you can offer, and what result they’ll get from working with you.  The speed-dater in Rich’s story was interested in EVERY woman who attended the event, and as a result, NONE of them were interested in him.  Prospects are no different; everyone wants to feel special.

2. Stop talking about you and what you do and focus on learning about others.  When you are introduced to someone or meet her at some event, do as Dale Carnegie would have advised: Be impressed, not impressive.

3. Target people who are ideal clients and invite them to talk with you.  If you’re clear about whom you want to work with, you may already know of individuals who could be great prospects.  Find out their information and contact them directly, or through your existing clients or professional network.

4. Don’t call a prospect unless you’ve already made an effort to learn something about him.  While I view cold calling as a last resort for most professionals, even if your calls tend to be “warm”, you need to make sure you’ve found out about the person you’re dialing before you pick up the phone.  Use Google, LinkedIn, and Facebook, and use the people you know already to help you learn about your prospects before you reach out to them.

5. Most importantly, SERVE, don’t SELL.  If there’s something you believe you can do to help a prospect, offer it with passion.  If not, be honest, and let her walk away—or, better still, you do the walking, and keep on looking for a better fit.

I help advisors who have had some success—but feel stuck in a rut—grab onto the prizes that seem just beyond their grasp.  If you think I can help you, find the courage to contact me.  In the meantime, be selective, but keep REACHING…

16 Disciplines

I suppose it would have been more fun if I called them 16 “hot tubs” for advisors, or less intimidating if I called them “practices,” but after 17 years of working with and observing how the most successful advisors, it's clear that there are branches of knowledge involved. 


Practice these simple 16 disciplines daily and watch how quickly and easily your practice grows.

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