August 10, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

“Approach-Avoidance Tango” Revisited

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the problem that occurs when a prospective client runs “hot and cold”—approaching you as if he’s interested and then blowing you off as if he’s not.  I called this phenomenon the Approach-Avoidance Tango, because it has the air of a dance.

After reading my advice, Mitch, one of my subscribers, wrote me about a way to handle this situation that HE learned from my colleague, Ari Galper, an American sales trainer now living in Australia.  Here’s the content that Ari suggested for a phone message or email to a wishy-washy prospect:

Joe, I’m assuming that since you and I haven’t been able to reconnect, you are no longer interested in what I have to offer.  Not a problem.  I just wanted to apologize if it’s something that I might have said or if somehow I dropped the ball on this one.  If you wouldn’t mind, can you get back to me and let me know what I could have done differently, so I don’t make the same mistake in the future?  I’d really appreciate it!  Thanks, Mitch

Mitch told me that he’s had great responses with this approach.  “I actually had someone’s assistant get back to me,” he wrote, “telling me that the reason her boss hadn’t called yet was that he broke his ankle and had been out of the office, but that he wanted to apologize for not getting back to me sooner.”

Others called him to apologize and explain that they’d been busy with other projects.  Some replied to say that their priorities had shifted, and to assure him that it wasn’t anything he had done wrong.  And, of course, a whole bunch never reached out again.

Whether you call a prospective client out on her dance (as I suggested in my previous article) or ask if you offended her in some way depends entirely upon the circumstances, and your preferences.  The important thing to remember is this:

If you’ve started a relationship with a potential client and your progress comes to an abrupt end, it’s worth the little bit of extra effort and exposure to find out why the relationship faltered.

I can help you develop powerful relationships with your clients and prospects if you contact me now.  In the meantime, keep REACHING…

August 2, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

What’s Your “Default Future”?

I know we’re in the middle of a heat wave throughout the United States, but I couldn’t help thinking of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol this week.  Ebenezer Scrooge would have died a lonely, miserable man with no one to say a kind word on his behalf…if something unexpected hadn’t happened.  In his case, that something unexpected was a ghostly encounter with his past, his present, and his future.

Every day I see professionals who are struggling to get beyond their current earnings, or pace of growth, or sense of being overwhelmed; yet, when I ask them, “What are you doing to change this?” they tell me “Nothing,” or “I can’t afford to hire the help I need,” or “I’m waiting until I have some more money saved”.

I particularly like this last response, because when I then ask, “How much money are you putting away weekly to address your problem?” the answer is almost always, “I haven’t started saving yet”.

So they struggle on—but they haven’t yet asked themselves one critical question:

“What is likely to happen if nothing unexpected comes along?”

In other words, what will their “default future” be?  If they aren’t currently making an investment in training or coaching or consulting—in some form of additional help—then what will change?  Seven years from now, will the sole practitioner attorney who is barely making ends meet be any better off?  Or will he have taken a job in a small firm that pays too little, because it was “too hard” to do any better?

Will the financial advisor who did not seem to be able to grow his practice beyond its current level suddenly have a huge clientele?  Or will he still be in the same place?

Will the engineer who was feeling overwhelmed by his work all at once be stress free?  Or will he be seeing a cardiologist for the damage that years of stress have caused him?

If nothing unexpected comes along, what will your future look like?

Take a minute to imagine it…

Now, imagine what you want it to look like…

Which future you end up with is based on the choices you make today.  You can have your “default future”, if that’s acceptable to you, or you can choose to have the one you want.

Don’t wait for the ghosts to appear.  MAKE “something unexpected” happen, and then learn to expect it—of yourself, and of those who are there to help you.  Change up the routine that is getting you nowhere, and implement one that will make your future bright.

Choose your spirits, and make them present.  Choose my help, and we’ll start to build the future you want today.

Keep cool, and keep REACHING…

July 20, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

The “Approach-Avoidance Tango”

It can happen to anyone who sells a service:  We speak to someone who is thinking about hiring us.  She calls again with a question and leaves a message to call her back.  We’re enthusiastic about the prospect of working with her—but when we return her call, she’s suddenly unavailable—forever.

This is the “Approach-Avoidance Tango”, and it’s not unlike the dance you might have seen or done while playing the dating game.  After my first terrific date with Hannah (now my wife of nearly 35 years), I didn’t call her again for months.  I even stood her up once—which prompted her to throw the chocolate mousse she was making for me at the kitchen wall.  Come to think of it…I can’t imagine why she married me after all.

When someone is doing this Tango with you in your personal or business life, you usually start second-guessing yourself:  “Was I too enthusiastic?”  “Did I come on too strong?”  “Should I have waited a day or two so I would appear less interested or needy?”

But the dance is seldom about something you’ve done.  It takes a great deal of courage to decide to commit to anyone.  Choosing to be someone’s client means admitting to him or her that there’s something you can’t do on your own, and—particularly in our society—everyone wants to look like they’ve “got it together”.  It also means agreeing to trust that someone’s advice, even if you’re not always sure you want to follow it.

So, let’s say that a prospective client does find talking with you to be beneficial.  He thinks you might be the one who can finally help.  He picks up the phone with some trepidation and calls you—and you’re not there.  He leaves a message, but now his courage has waned.  By the time you dial back, it’s gone—and he can’t even dream of mustering it up again to pick up the phone, or to return your call.

Should you just let him go?  Or is there something you can do to convince him to stay?

Rory, a financial advisor in Seattle, did this to me just last week.  I decided to call him out on it in an email, since I could no longer reach him by phone:

Rory,

When we last spoke, you may have genuinely had someone else you wanted to talk with, but I’m guessing that you didn’t hire anyone.  I think you know that opening up to someone (whether it’s me or someone else) will help you, but I bet it scares you, so you continue not to do anything.

Changing just this one approach (avoidance) in your life could mean boatloads in the long-term.  But it won’t happen without taking the first step…

I received another call from Rory over the weekend in response to this note.  In his message he told me I had given him a lot to think about and that he would be back from vacation—and would call me again—in two weeks.  We’ll see…

In any event, if the Tangoing client is lost, you have nothing to lose by boldly telling him you can see the dance he’s doing.  Try reaching out that one extra time like I did with Rory, and see what happens to your practice.

If you need it, don’t avoid the help I’m offering, and take me up on the free coaching session that came along with your re-opt on this e-letter.  Whatever you do for yourself or your clients, always keep REACHING…

July 12, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

Ask for What You Need.

My father loved the “lone hero” characters played by Gary Cooper, who faced off with all of the bad guys virtually solo in the 1952 movie High Noon.

To my dad, Cooper represented the idea that action heroes had to find their way by themselves.  Dad believed that strong, successful people don’t ask for help—and while he was always quick to help others, he found it almost impossible to ask anyone to help him.

I loved my father, but he died broke and broken.  And I believe that a large part of the reason for this was his view on what it takes to be successful.

He had missed one of the main points of his favorite Gary Cooper movie.  Cooper’s marshal, “Will Kane”, asked everyone in town for help—they were just all too afraid to stick their necks out.  In fact, soon after the movie’s release, veteran “lone hero” John Wayne was publicly infuriated that someone had actually made a Western wherein a marshal asked for assistance.  Wayne found a counter-vehicle for himself in the 1959 film Rio Bravo, in which he played a sheriff who didn’t ask anyone for anything.

Personally, I’m a fan of the 1992 movie My Cousin Vinny, with Joe Pesce and Marissa Tomei.  In my New Year’s article at the start of this year, I shared with you the ending dialog from that movie—when Vinny becomes upset when he realizes that he didn’t succeed all on his own.  His fiancé, Tomei’s “Mona Lisa Vito”, mocks him:

You know, this could be a sign of things to come.  You win all your cases, but with somebody else’s help, right?  You win case after case, and then afterwards you have to go up to somebody and you have to say, “thank you”.  Oh my God, what a f*cking nightmare!

Keep trying, but STOP trying to do it yourself.

We all recognize that athletes have coaches.  That’s where the idea of professional and life coaching comes from.  But we are stuck with this archaic view that it’s okay for them, and not for us.  They have special needs, and we don’t.  Do you accept this view?

I’ve ended just about every e-letter and blog article I’ve ever written with an offer to talk with you about where you are, where you’d like to be, and what keeps you from getting there.  If you don’t want to take me up on my offer, for whatever reason, find someone else who you’d want to let help you.

It does take courage to be a client, even for a simple consultation.  I understand that.  We spend our lives trying to convince other people that we have our act together, but a coaching client has to be able to say, “Here’s what I don’t have and here’s what I think is holding me back.”  That’s hard.

There’s also a prevailing fear that the coach you consult with will try to “sell” you on his or her services, and you’ll be left with that uneasy “what did I get myself into?” feeling after the talk.

So you continue to look for motivation and practice-building tips, never recognizing that you probably don’t need more information; what you need is more application.  The motivation that comes from within is best found when you’re working with someone to help you bring it out.

Next week, I’m going to ask my REACHING… e-letter subscribers to opt-in again, limiting my mailing list to only those who really want to be on it.  I’ll also be reproducing my weekly article in full in each issue from now on, so there will be no need to “click through” to the Blog unless you want to respond (I’d love it if you did, of course) or visit previous posts.

As part of the opt-in procedure, I’ll be offering an optional 60-minute consultation to anyone who chooses to continue receiving the e-letter.  Like I said, it’s optional.  You don’t have to take me up on it, but I’m hoping that you will.

I can’t help you be courageous about contacting me to request a coaching session, but I can promise you that there will be no selling of any kind if you do.  If, after our session, you want to discuss having me continue to coach you, two things will have to happen: (1) You will have to ask, and (2) The work you want to get done will have to be fun and challenging enough that I want to fit it into my limited schedule.

Even if you choose not to continue receiving my e-letter each week, but want to tune in sporadically to read the articles, you can always subscribe to my RSS feed, or visit www.sandyschussel.com/category/blog whenever you’d like.

Be courageous next week!  Opt-in again to receive these e-letters and take advantage of my offer to help.

In the meantime, keep REACHING…

July 5, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

Become an Expert

A few years ago, I asked one of my clients, Carrie, if she had started thinking about saving for college for her one-year-old daughter, Megan.

“It’s funny that you’re asking me this now,” Carrie replied, “Because I just recently sat down with a specialist in college planning.”

When Carrie told me the name of the company this financial advisor had come from, I chuckled to myself.  I knew there were no advisors in that company who were given any “special” training.

“What makes you say that this advisor was a specialist?” I asked her.  Carrie told me that he had set up a college savings program for a friend of hers, who had then referred him along to her and Megan.  She boasted about how knowledgeable and well-read he seemed on a plethora of issues having to do with raising a child.

“We talked about an article in [the local] Parent’s Magazine and he offered to recommend a pediatric dentist for Megan’s teething problem,” she reported.

Carrie hired this advisor because he was a specialist.

In my book, Become a Client Magnet, I talk about being the “Red Crayon”.  Most professionals are white crayons in a box filled with other white crayons—they are indistinguishable accountants or civil engineers or financial advisors.  Being the Red Crayon in your industry’s box immediately distinguishes you from all the other choices a prospective client has and makes it more likely that you’ll be chosen for the job.

One way to make yourself a Red Crayon is to choose a specialty: a narrow target market to serve, or a specific type of service for which you can become the leading expert.

You can do this even if you’re already involved in a specialty in your field.  An orthopedic surgeon can become a “hand reconstruction” specialist, a labor lawyer can become a “non-compete” specialist, and a chiropractor can become a specialist in “cervical adjustments to lower blood pressure”.

If you’re not already a specialist now, become one.  The steps are this simple:

1. Declare your specialty. Concentrating your skills to work with one target or type of service doesn’t usually require exams, apprenticeships, licenses, or certifications.  There are few professional codes of conduct that could prohibit an accountant from “concentrating” on businesses owned by women, or stop an attorney from “limiting his practice” to a certain area of litigation.  There’s nothing wrong with focusing your efforts.

2. Walk the talk. Once you’ve made the declaration, develop the expertise.  Instead of trying to keep on top of dozens of areas in his profession, a Red Crayon will learn everything he can about his focus and find ways to serve his chosen market.  Carrie’s advisor read the same magazines his clients read and learned about their children’s developmental needs.  He became acutely aware of the local network of child-development specialists in other industries—dentists, doctors, and educators—thereby ranking himself among them.

3. Take the cases you enjoy. Branding yourself with an expertise actually enhances your Red Crayon status outside the area of your specialty.  People will tend to seek out an expert whether or not his/her focus is exactly what their situation calls for.  They’d rather have a specialist make an exception to work with them than have a mere commodity handle their case.  Stay focused on the market that makes you happiest, but if it also moves you, help these other clients whenever you wish.

If you want help becoming a Red Crayon to attract more business, contact me today.  Whatever you do, keep REACHING…

June 28, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

10 Rules for Working with Clients

My friend Rich works for a large regional bank and sometimes does seminars for his fellow bank employees. Rich was kind enough to share his notes with me from a seminar he presented, entitled “Rules for Working with Attorneys”.

It was clear to me that with a little editing, these rules could apply to work with any type of prospective client:

1. Make your time as important as her time. When a prospective client tells you that she’s very busy, let her know that you understand, but tell her that you are very busy, too.  Set up a mutually convenient time to talk.

2. How someone does one thing is a good indication of how he does everything. Rich tells the story of a sales rep trying to deal with a prospect who would motion aggressively for her to leave whenever she paid him a visit.  She was shocked when Rich’s advice was to stop trying.  He explained that how this man was as a prospect—rude and nasty—is how he would be as a client.  “Why would you want him as a client?” Rich asked her.  “If he throws you out of his office, that’s a sure warning sign!”  Take the hint!  There are many more prospects out there who won’t be such trouble.

3. Find ways to let your client in. Offer to connect them to your networks.  This will open the door for them to do the same for you.

4. Always conduct research and do pre-call planning before seeing your prospects. Use the internet.  Find out from your networks—either through Linked In or by asking around—if someone knows a person and can tell you a bit about him or her.  If you find someone who knows, ask for an introduction, or get the okay to drop this contact’s name with the prospect.  A referral or warm connection beats a cold call every time.

5. If you drop in, differentiate yourself by being there to set an appointment. Many sales professionals drop in and expect to be seen right then and there.  Show your prospect that you respect his time.  If you drop in, make your purpose to find out his availability, and to put a meeting into his calendar for a later date.

6. Learn about her business before asking for her business.  “It’s not about you,” Rich tells his coworkers.  “It’s about them, so ask lots of questions.”

7. Be polite to “gatekeepers”, but be assertive and ask for them for help. Gatekeepers have two seemingly conflicting functions: to keep you out, and to help you out.  Ask them firmly to help you.  Demonstrate your value.  There has to be a good reason for them to let you in to see their boss, but there has to be an equally good reason for them to refuse.

8. Be on time. Nothing more needs to be said here.

9. Offer to show him the money. Most business and professional prospects are primarily interested in how you can save them—or make them—money. Make sure you are clear about how you can do one or both of these for them.

10. Build rapport. While you’re asking about his business, ask him about him—why he does what he does, how he got started, what he finds most rewarding.  Have you ever met someone who wouldn’t enjoy spending a minute or two talking about himself?

You’ll find 27 more suggestions like these in Become A Client Magnet.  Buy it today, and regardless, keep REACHING…

June 22, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

In 2005, Steve Jobs—CEO of Apple and of Pixar Animation—gave the commencement address to the Stanford graduating class of approximately 5,000 students.

“I never graduated college,” he began, and then he told three stories.

The first story was about “connecting the dots”.  Jobs told how he dropped out of college, but continued to attend classes anyway—the ones he liked.  One of these classes was calligraphy.  Years later, when he and Steve Wozniak created the Mac, one of its main selling points (eventually copied for Windows) was that it had multiple typefaces and proportionally spaced fonts.

“If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class,” Jobs informed the graduates, “And personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.”

The second story was about getting fired from his own company, Apple, at age 30.  This event led to the creation of NeXt, and Pixar, and to Jobs meeting his wife.  Pixar created the first fully computer-animated film, Toy Story, and became the largest computer animation company in the world.

“I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple,” Jobs told his audience.  “It was awful-tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.”

“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick,” he attested.  “Don’t lose faith.  I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.  You’ve got to find what you love.”

The last story was about his brush with death, when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told to go home and get his affairs in order.  As it turned out, a biopsy revealed that he had a rare form of pancreatic cancer that was operable, and he is still alive.  To his stunned audience, Jobs announced:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.”

Jobs concluded his address by quoting from the back cover of a popular publication from his youth, The Whole Earth Catalog:

“Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.”

I’ve posted these words on my office wall and I’m committed to helping my clients do just that.  If you want a push to create the business and life you deserve, contact me now.  And always, keep REACHING…

June 15, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

Overwhelmed–or Exhilarated?

Nick is a successful financial advisor who is working with me on doubling his income this year.

He agreed to call me on the Monday following his vacation to talk about the impact his time off had on him, but he didn’t—not on Monday, not on Tuesday.

On Wednesday, Nick finally phoned to apologize for not keeping his commitment—an essential part of our coaching process.  “I was overwhelmed with the work that had piled up,” he moaned.

“What do you mean you were ‘overwhelmed’?” I asked him.

“What else would you call a desk piled high with paperwork, a computer filled with unread e-mails, and a voicemail box filled with messages to answer?” Nick responded.

I explained to Nick that instead of characterizing the work involved in running a $200,000-per-year practice as “overwhelming”, some might say that it was exciting and exhilarating.  All those people seeking him out!  All those opportunities for growth!

“Overwhelmed” is victim word.  You can have mountains of paperwork to do and full message boxes and be excited and energized by what these conditions represent, or you can choose to be overwhelmed by them.  What excites me as a coach is knowing that the reaction you have to these circumstances is a choice—not merely some accident of heredity or upbringing.

If you have more work than you can handle, choose to take action to make it manageable.  That’s taking “ownership”—the opposite of being a victim.  Become an “action hero” with regard to the things that used to overwhelm you, and see how much better your life—and your business—can become.

Contact me today if you’re ready to commit to a better outlook.  In the meantime, keep REACHING…

May 31, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

Sell The Experience, Not the Concept

A few months ago, I was approached by Ron, one of the branch managers in a  financial services company, to submit a proposal to provide training for the company’s financial representatives who were almost all struggling to grow their practices. 

 Ron had seen my work. He arranged a meeting with his boss, the managing partner, who was eager to “get [his representatives] in front of more people.”  The only obstacles were that there were two other branch managers who needed to agree to put their representatives into the program, and the details of how the program would be paid for(what amounts would come from the boss, the branch managers and the representatives themselves) needed to be worked out. 

 While both of these branch managers who hadn’t met me agreed that training in this area was sorely needed, they became bogged down in the financial discussion. Frustrated, Ron asked me to meet with these branch managers to help explain the program to them and convince them to accept my proposal.

 I gave some thought to Ron’s request and realized that I could “explain” my program to them until I was exhausted, but all of my effort would not be nearly as convincing as having them experience what I do first-hand.  They did not need to have it explained, they needed to experience it.

 I proposed to Ron that we schedule a “Lunch and Learn” where I would give the representatives who work with these managers—and the managers themselves—a sample of my work.  I’d offer lots of ideas they could put to work immediately, but it would be only one small part of my sales training program.

 That presentation broke the logjam and I have been engaged to deliver my entire program.  If I had spent the same amount of time with these managers explaining the program, I don’t think we would have gotten past the “who’s going to pay for it” stage.

If you’re an advisor, a consultant, a coach, or an attorney, your prospective clients have an opportunity to experience working with you when they first consult you.  If the experience is powerful, something you can usually create through the questions you ask and the way you treat them and their concerns, they will have a better idea of what you can do for them than listening to your explanation of what you will do. Help them decide—not whether to hire you—but whether to continue working with you.  Sell the experience, not the concept.

I can help you grow your business, but only if you contact me now.  In the meantime, keep REACHING…

June 7, 2011 in REACHING... by Sandy Schussel

You Can’t Skip Rapport

Jenny actually needs your services.  You know she does and, more importantly, she knows she does.  But when you suggest that you get your work started, she says “let me think about it.” 

You graciously give her time, but she doesn’t call you again.  Then, when you finally do call her, you find out that she’s “decided to hold off,” or she’s “working with someone else,” or my favorite–she’s “decided to go in another direction.”

You’re bewildered.  There was such a clear match between her need and your services.  What could you possibly have said or done that would have sent her somewhere else?

Maybe it’s what you didn’t say or do.  You moved from “hello” to “what’s the problem” to “here’s how I can fix the problem” to “let’s get started,” skipping over Rapport.  Without developing rapport first, the other steps in your procedure won’t be effective.

“Of course I developed rapport first,” my client Rachel, who sells printing services, insisted. “I saw the picture on his office wall of the fishing boat and I asked him about it. We got into a whole discussion about fishing and boats…”

Some professionals believe that “amenities,” (small talk) are necessary before proceeding into the interview of a prospective client.  Some swear that their clients want to get right down to business.  While there is some validity to both of these schools of thought, they both dance around the concept of rapport.  Just because you talked about boats doesn’t mean you developed rapport—because the small talk at the beginning of your sessions is not really where rapport is developed.

While small talk, finding things you have in common, and other ways of connecting are all important, rapport comes from the questions you ask when you’re interviewing a prospective client.  Surface questions–what Neil Rackham, author of SPIN Selling, calls “situation” questions–are necessary to provide you with the information you need to help a client, but they don’t have any real value to the client.  He or she already has the information.

Rapport comes from your genuine desire to help the client, reflected in the “deeper” questions you ask:

“What’s a typical day like for you?”
“How do you get people to understand what you do?”
“What made you choose this industry?”
“Is this something you want your children to take over some day?”

You won’t find rapport questions on any form questionnaire your company or firm might use…they come from “childlike” curiosity.  Slow down your interview to study the fascinating prospective client in front of you the way an eight-year old might, and ask questions that will win his or her trust.

If you want to learn how to be an expert at developing rapport with your clients, contact me today.  In the meantime, keep REACHING…