Over a decade of Sandy’s weekly written articles on strategies and motivation for your business and your life.
Are you one of the many financial and insurance professionals who have avoided approaching doctors, lawyers, CEOs, military generals, celebrities, and a host of other people you think are in some way above you?
My coaching colleague, Amir Karkouti, offered these words last week for professionals who are suffering from this fear-based affliction: “BECOME A LOSER…”
“LOSE the idea that any of these titles exist,” he tells his clients,
“LOSE the idea that the high achiever, because of his finances, doesn’t cry himself/herself to sleep at night…
LOSE the idea that CEOs have ‘made it’ and have something you don’t (made what?).
LOSE the idea that they won’t want to hire you because you don’t know what they know (after all, they don’t know what you know!).”
LOSE all the ideas and stories you’ve created about other people, so you can see them for who they really are. The gap between “you” and “them” is imaginary, and sales can only happen when you can see yourself as part of their world.
Be a Loser, and be proud of it! The more of your ego you lose, the less you’ll think that somebody is above you because he or she has made more money or is seemingly more accomplished. Being a Loser in this way lets you build bridges to make relationships.
Amir explains that when you are a Loser, you win people’s hearts, and you win their gratitude. You also win their respect.
So stop thinking you’re not at someone’s “level”. Amir is right—levels don’t actually exist. Or, if they do exist, there’s only one level that matters: the level of connection. If you’re a Loser, you can be on the level with anyone in any field.
“And the only way to play on the level of being with another person is to
LOSE the idea of who we think they really are, by the arbitrary terms we’ve created…”
In the best business company, stop feeling like an imposter. Allow yourself to be just as much a hero to them as they are to you, by LOSING the hero hierarchy altogether. Agree to Be a Loser and reach for the stars, and then, just keep REACHING…
I often hear managers complain about how their expectations are not being met by their teams. I hear all kinds of professionals complain about their staff, or their clients. They’re expecting a certain result or behavior, and they’re not getting it.
The problem is in their reliance on expectations. Management—of a team, of your staff, or even of clients—will always be accompanied by some disappointment in the performance of those you work with—that is, if performance is being measured against expectations.
Ron, a branch manager I’m working with, was disappointed in his agents.
“I gave my people a simple telephoning assignment on Monday along with a checklist, and when I asked them about it on Friday, only one of them had done the work, and none of them had turned in a checklist,” Ron told me. “When I tell them what to do on Monday, I expect that they’ll do it and turn in the report on Friday. Is that too much to ask?”
“No, of course not. But what was the agreement?” I asked Ron.
Ron hesitated, confused. “There wasn’t any AGREEMENT,” he replied. “Most of them have been with me for years. They know what I expect of them.”
“Maybe they do, and maybe…they don’t,” I suggested.
I explained to Ron that Management by Expectation has a lot of holes in it. The details of what is expected may not be clear, even when you are certain they’re perfectly implicit. The door is still open to excuses about why the job couldn’t be done. And, most importantly, no one has actually agreed to do it.
By contrast, Management by Agreement turns a vague, one-sided expectation into specific promises. In Ron’s case, it might look something like this:
“I’m giving you all this calling assignment and a checklist. I’d like to know that all ten calls have been completed by Friday of this week, so please turn in your checklists to me that morning by 10 AM. All ten lines should be filled out with useful information on the calls you made. This is an important project for all of us. Do you all agree? Jane? Pete? Mark? Does everyone understand exactly what’s being asked of him or her? Any questions? Great; so completed call assignments will be on my desk by 10 AM this Friday morning. If there’s any reason any of you can’t complete it by then, or if you need any help from me or anyone else on the team to make sure that it gets done, please let me know today.”
“That’s a lot of work for something so simple,” Ron complained, “But I’ll try it next week. I have another project like this one coming up.”
Two weeks later, Ron and I talked about his result. “All of them, except the one guy who was out for three days, did exactly as I asked,” he confided, “And the one who was out came back in on Friday and asked if it was okay if he turned his in on Tuesday.”
Unlike Management by Expectation, Management by Agreement includes all of the following insurances against disappointment:
1. Specific details, including what needs to be done, by when, and how it (or progress on it) is to be presented, along with a request for confirmation that the details are clear.
2. A request for a verbal agreement and an upfront discussion about anything that might prevent the project’s completion, with an opportunity to negotiate different terms, if necessary.
3. An offer to provide any help that might be needed along the way.
Agreements are based on promises—a type of commitment. Since failure to do the job is now the breaking of a promise, not just a failure to live up to your expectation, it is much less likely to occur.
You can always discuss consequences for breaking the next promise. Let the team member come up with his own “punishment”. I had one client agree that if he violated our agreement he would give me a $1,000 check payable to the campaign of the political candidate he hated the most. Another agreed to jump into his swimming pool in a suit.
Years ago, one of my clients agreed that if he interrupted someone else at an office meeting again, he would run down the street in front of the office wearing nothing but his “tighty whities”. By his account, he’s only interrupted once since then.
What works for managing team members and staff works for handling just about anyone, including your clients. Don’t expect a certain action from them. Have them agree to it.
Now, think up a failure consequence, and promise me you’ll keep REACHING…
Reed, an advisor in LA, was telling me about his frustrations with a doctor-lawyer couple. He thought they were already his clients, but he had left several messages for the lawyer-husband to set up a time to meet with them, and he had not yet gotten any response.
“I finally had a great conversation with his wife, and I told her I had been trying to reach him and schedule a time to see them,” he explained, “But she told me that because of his schedule, I’d have to set it up with him—right back to square one.”
“These are clients who are obviously not jumping up and down at the idea of meeting with you,” I confirmed, exhibiting as usual my keen grasp of the obvious. “Do they know why you want to see them?”
“Well, no,” he responded.
“Then why should they want to see you?” I asked, “You don’t have a close relationship with them and it looks like they’re pretty busy.”
“But I have this great product I want to convert them to,” Reed confessed.
“OK, that’s a good reason why you want to see them,” I conceded, “But they don’t know that, do they? And even if they did, why would they want to see you to buy another product you think is great?”
“I guess there’s no good reason,” he concluded.
So, I pressed him a little more. “Let me ask again, then. Why might they think you’re reason for wanting to see them is great?”
After thinking about it for a few more seconds, Reed had some insight.
“This is one of the new policies that could add Long Term Care coverage to their existing life and disability insurance,” he explained, “and possibly without increasing their premiums.”
“Great! So what if you let them know that this is the reason you’ve been trying to reach them?” I asked. “Do you think they might be more responsive?”
Reed now understood that he wasn’t getting the appointment because these clients assumed he wanted to see them to sell them something—a situation they probably wanted to avoid. It was about him, and what was going on in his world.
But all sales—even the sale of an appointment—happen in the client’s world, not in the advisor’s. If you have not maintained a very close relationship, and their world is busy, they might not be interested in seeing you, especially if they don’t know why you’re reaching out.
If your clients aren’t responding, ask yourself how the client is seeing your efforts to meet. Specifically:
Why would they want to set up a time to see me?
Why would they be excited to talk with me about what I want to show them?
When Reed asked himself these questions, he remembered that this was coverage he had already discussed with them and that they had decided against it because of the additional expense. His was a new opportunity to have them snag that same coverage while limiting the expense they originally feared.
When he explained that to the doctor, she got her husband to set up a meeting for them right away. In person, Reed discussed the benefits of the policy upgrade—and they applied for it at last.
Always look at your approach, and your services, from the client’s perspective. How do you and what you offer fit into their world? Keep asking, and keep REACHING…
This week, Ryan, a financial planner in California, asked me, “What do I do when I’m just in the dumps and don’t really feel like working?”
A few weeks ago, I shared the thoughts of my friend and colleague, Steve Chandler, about the difference between “Doers” and “Feelers”. The central idea is that Feelers have inconsistent results, because their actions depend on their mood at any given moment. Doers, on the other hand, almost always have a “system” and work that system no matter how they feel.
As I thought about responding to Ryan’s question, I recalled how inventor and entrepreneur Ron Popeil used to do an infomercial for his RoncoTM line of rotisserie ovens, repeating (often) the phrase: “Set it and forget it!”
His point was that once you had set up the oven and the timer, the goal of a perfectly cooked roasted-meat meal would be met by the temperature and timing system built in to the oven.
Ryan had agreed that he could reach his income target (the perfectly roasted chicken) if he stuck to a simple plan—keeping six great appointments each week and working at maximizing the value he brought clients on every one of those appointments. This six-appointment-per-week procedure was also his personal barometer for his earnings journey.
How the rotisserie oven feels at any given moment will not interfere with its temperature and timing mechanisms, and likewise, how a professional feels at any given moment cannot interfere with the his or her process goals (six appointments, 50 phone calls, etc.).
“If you don’t feel like working,” I told Ryan, “Book your six appointments anyway, and then goof off. That’s your absolute minimum. If you do feel like working, do more!”
As with any discipline, sticking to our own rotisserie settings so that we can cook the perfect success story is easier said than done. But if you make up your mind that how you feel at any given moment is not relevant to what you’ll do, your process goals will lead you to your ultimate goal.
Imagine a surgeon or a pilot who “just doesn’t feel like” focusing on his or her job today. The ultimate goal of having healthy patients and safe passengers is, for them, a simple matter of “set it and forget it”. What they’re doing during the surgery and during the flight is unconditional. If they stick to their skills and landmarks, they’ll get the results they want.
In your case, set it and don’t forget it: Remember to do what you do best, whatever your temperature, and even if you’re dragging your feet a little. Keep moving, and keep REACHING…
“A 15-minute call could save you 15% or more…”
When you Google search “gecko”, GEICO appears first on the web list.
I’ve been preparing for my web program on kick-starting your business next week. So, this week, I thought I’d revisit (and shed some more light on) a classic business strategy: branding.
In any practice, branding is a primary way to attract your ideal client. It is an expression of your unique identity to “sell” your services to the kind of people you most want to work with…and then some. But branding isn’t just about showing how you’re different from your competitors. It’s about getting your clients or prospects to see that what you offer is exactly the solution they’ve been searching for.
If I meet someone at a party or gathering, and I tell him during our conversation that I’m a coach for financial and service professionals who want to get to the next level in their careers and lives, and then ask him if he would like to work with me, I’m engaging in direct marketing. If his friend comes across the room at that party and says to me, “I hear that you’re a great work-performance and client-attraction coach and I’d love to work with you,” I’ve successfully branded my business.
But to brand yourself and your work seamlessly, you need to take Three Preliminary Steps:
1. Know your “Target Market“. Who do you most want to work with or for? As a professional, a consultant, or a service-business owner, you will have more success if you become an expert in the needs of one particular narrow target market: teenagers, “Boomers”, families, entrepreneurs, landscaping contractors, retirees, ADD adults, etc. It’s aiming a high-powered rifle at the bullseye, rather than shooting up hundreds of pounds of buckshot in the hope of hitting something wild turkeys.
2. Identify one to three “core needs”. What are their biggest problems, or dreams? Obviously, you want to talk about the needs that you have solutions for. Your typical client may need dental work, but if you have a house cleaning service, this isn’t a core need you can use.
3. Design your unique solutions. Why will people or businesses in your target market buy the services they need from you and not your competitors? Clients like “packages”. If the solutions you provide are not special, start thinking about ways to package them to make them special. If you’re just another white crayon in a box of white crayons, there’s no good reason to use your services. Be the red crayon in the box.
In The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing, Al Ries and Jack Trout wrote: “If you can, be first. If you can’t be first, create a new category in which you can be first.”
Fedex is the business to use “when it absolutely, positively has to be there over night”. When are you the business to use? Decide who you are, and then, keep REACHING…
I started my coaching career helping people overcome their fears. My book, The High Diving Board, and my audio program, Ten Steps To Overcoming Your Fears, are based on the premise that when we’re not where we want to be in our careers or lives, it’s because we respond to our fears by backing away from whatever has caused them. We tell ourselves, “It’s not okay; back away.”
Unfortunately, growing any business requires finding a better response to our fears. “It’s okay to be afraid,” I tell my clients and readers, “But if this is your dream, you have to do it any way.” You often can’t stop the fear, but you can change your reaction to it.
Nothing holds professionals and entrepreneurs back from growing their businesses or practices more than fear—fear of asking a client if they want to use our services…fear of asking for a testimonial or referral…fear of appearing foolish or odd when we speak in public, when we write, or when we’re simply making conversation in a networking situation…and fear of being rebuffed or rejected when we call someone on the phone.
So, we tell ourselves we hate marketing and selling our services; that these activities are difficult, manipulative, and sleazy. We’re forced by financial pressures into doing marketing and sales activities reluctantly and uncomfortably, and our accompanying negative attitude—our awkwardness and discomfort—make the people we communicate with equally uncomfortable. That, in turn, causes them to back away. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
To change this mindset, you need to start seeing the marketing and sale of your services—activities that attract clients—for what they are: the sharing of information about the best person available to fill a need with the people who have that need. In coaching, we call this a paradigm shift. Here are ideas that may help:
- You’re the best at doing what you do. If not, you’re working at becoming the best. You’ll try harder and care more than anyone else.
- People who need the services you provide must get them from somewhere. If they don’t know you and what you can do—if you’re not communicating with them—they’ll get those services from someone else.
- Attracting clients is nothing more than making sure they make the right choice.
Post these 3 points above your desk and remind yourself of them often. By remembering how your actions serve, alter your reaction to your fear of putting yourself out there. Then, keep REACHING…
We all have two futures: A “default” future, and a “created” future.
If you’re struggling to move your business forward, but everything you do seems to get you back to the same place—month after month, year after year—you are set to live your default future.
Imagine if nothing changed next year or the year after. Now project that outward five or ten years more. What will that future look like? That’s your default future. Is it okay with you?
You might be terrified about investing money, time, and energy in trying to change your path, because there’s a risk that it might not work. Hiring an assistant, working with a coach, changing your business affiliations…all of these could result in steep expenditure (of money, time, or energy) with nothing to show for it down the line.
But if you don’t overcome those fears that are keeping you from changing, you are almost certain to be living out your default future.
The future you could be living is the one you’ve created. What do you want to create? What resources do you need to create it? How will you find the money, time, and energy it will take to experiment with creation?
If the future you want to create is one in which you’re earning a comfortable six-figure income and have left your money worries behind, or you have eliminated stress in your life and made yourself healthier, or you have more time to spend with your family, you need to do something different—something you’ve calculated might actually get you to the future you want. And if that plan fails, you will need to be willing to find another path, and maybe another, until you’re successfully creating the future of your choosing.
What’s your default future? Is it okay with you? If not, what future can you choose to create? Now, what’s your plan? And if that first plan falters, will you create another?
One thing is certain: In the future of your design, you have to keep REACHING…
My friend and colleague, Steve Chandler, author of the Wealth Warrior, puts professionals in two categories: “Doers” and “Feelers”.
Doers come to work having planned out what needs to be done that day and, no matter how they’re feeling at any given moment, the do what needs to be done.
What Feelers do, on the other hand, depends on how they feel. They take their emotional temperatures throughout the day, checking in on themselves, figuring out what they feel like doing right now. Their financial securities, their outcomes, their lives, are dictated by the fluctuation of their feelings. Their feelings will change constantly, of course, so it’s hard for Feelers to follow anything through to a successful conclusion, no matter how passionate they may be about all they intend to accomplish.
As Chandler puts it:
“The success of Feelers depends on everything that can change their feelings…biorhythms, gastric upset, too strong a cup of coffee, an annoying call from home, a rude waitress at lunch, a cold, or constipation. Those are the dictating forces—the commanders—of a Feeler’s life and of his or her success.”
A Doer, however, has a plan and a system for her success, and she works the plan no matter how she feels. She knows in advance of each day how much time she will spend on the phone and in the field, what new clients she will cultivate and which old relationships she will strengthen. In whatever mood, she looks at any situation lacking completion and asks, “What do I need to do?”
A Feeler may have a plan, too, but only follow it on “sunny” days—when things are all going right and the there are no clouds in her sky. She says, “I just can’t make those calls right now,” and her excuse is that she wouldn’t be very effective unless she was feeling good about making them.
I agree with Chandler: All of us have Doers and Feelers within us. While many of us vacillate between the two types, some may be predisposed to being either a Doer or a Feeler, and over time, some may even unconsciously commit to one or the other.
If you recognize yourself as a Feeler and you’re not having the success you want, consciously commit to being a Doer, instead. Set a goal, create a plan to reach it, and have a daily system that you follow, no matter how the winds are blowing.
There is a Maasai tribal village in the African Savanna that has the incredible ability to bring on rain every time it does its rain dance.
Each year, as the Dry Season drones on, the landscape turns from lush greens and golds to a shriveled, blighted grey-brown. The rivers shrink until nothing is left but their bone-dry cracked beds and the lakes turn into little more than mud puddles. At some point, as the water supply is becoming dangerously low, the people of the village gather to do a rain and fertility ceremony—in large part, to hasten the oncoming of the Rainy Season.
The dance these villagers perform is virtually indistinguishable from the dance performed in the surrounding Maasai villages. They use the same rhythms, the same chants, and even the same movements.
But the results of the ceremony in this village are remarkably different. While the rain dances the other villages perform may appear to bring on rain every two or three times they are done, in this particular village, the dance manages to bring on rain one hundred percent of the time—on every occasion that it is performed!
Anthropologists, meteorologists, and other scientists took note of this seeming phenomenon—which links the desires and actions of a people to a physical change in their environment—some time ago. Researchers came to the village in teams to study what was occurring.
The only thing the experts found, however, that might account for the difference between these villagers’ ability to generate rainfall and the more random results obtained by those in the surrounding villages, was that while in the other villages they do their dances for three days straight, or five days, or even nine days, in this village, they dance…‘til it rains.
You could argue that there’s nothing *special* about dancing ‘til it rains when you know that at some point it will rain. But conversely, if you know for sure that at some point you will have the success you seek, maybe there’s no great *sacrifice* in keeping at it until you get it.
If you don’t believe that at some point, if you work hard, you will have the success you want, you’re also almost 100% certain to be right about that. Anything you actually want in your career or your life that you don’t already have requires three commitments from you:
(1) A burning desire to have it. This means more than just wanting it; it means wanting it at a level of commitment that you’ll do just about anything to get it.
(2) An unwavering belief that you will have it at some point, even when other people tell you it is impossible. Think of all the dreamers who were told that it would be impossible to create what they wanted:
For Christopher Columbus, it was the belief that he could sail due West to reach the Far East.
For The Wright Brothers, it was the belief that they could create a sky filled with heavier-than-air flying machines.
For Nelson Mandela, it was the belief that there would someday be a multi-racial, democratic South Africa.
(3) A willingness to “dance…‘til it rains”. Mandela “danced” in prison for 27 years before his seasons changed, but when they did, they brought growth to his whole land.
If you’re not happy with your career or some other aspect of your life, ask yourself which of these three commitments is missing from your daily ritual. If you have the burning desire, and the belief that what you want will happen, all you have to do is dance, and dance, and dance, and keep REACHING…
‘Til It Rains,
In my book, The High Diving Board, I discuss Seven Paralyzing Fears, including the Fear of Rejection.
Fear of rejection—of having someone say “no”—stops people from asking for help, support, money, a date, a job, a referral, or a sale. Victims suffer what I call “Fear Factor” symptoms, including these:
They become tongue-tied…Their paralysis makes it impossible for them to pick up the phone…They’ll actually avoid the person they want to ask for help, going as far as walking across the room, or leaving it altogether…They break out in a sweat at the mere thought of asking for what they want.
But while the Fear of Rejection is very real, it is extremely rare that asking for something actually results in rejection. If you ask someone to refer you to a business acquaintance, and he or she says “no”, you could tell yourself that you have been rejected…but in reality, nothing has changed.
Did you have a connection to the person you wanted to contact before you asked? No!
Did you have a connection to that person after you asked? No!
Did your business—or life—get worse? No. It stayed the same!
Next time you’re paralyzed by the Fear of Rejection, ask yourself this question:
“If the person I ask says ‘no’, am I really in any different position than I was in before?”
If the answer you give yourself is “No, my position would be unchanged,” remember to ask for what you want.
In the meantime, keep REACHING…
*Image courtesy of Buzzle.com.