How do you get someone to do what you wish they would? To buy something you’re selling? To support a position you’ve taken? To hire you?
Among the quotations posted on the board above my desk is this anonymous one:
“People will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions, and help them throw rocks at their enemies.”
I’m not a big fan of justifying failures or helping people throw rocks, but I know you can have what you want in your own life by encouraging the dreams and allaying the fears of those around you. What’s important, though, is that there isn’t a word in the quotation above about your needs, your hopes or your concerns. The secret—if there is a secret—to getting your needs met is to focus on the needs of others.
A client of mine who is a financial advisor discovered that when she was focusing too hard on the sales goals she set for herself, instead of on the needs of her clients, she wasn’t meeting those sales goals. She slipped from the ranks of the top producers in her company and for months, she did not know why. This discovery brought her back to the top.
Is there something you want? Help other people get what they want, and maybe they won’t do anything for you, but they are likely to help you get where you want to go.
When I told people I wanted to quit my sales job and start a business, everyone told me I was crazy. Everyone, that is, except my coach, Sandy Schussel…With Sandy’s help I left my sales job and started my business. That was three years ago. I’m happy to report that I’ve doubled the money I was making at my old job and living my dream. I’m absolutely sure that none of this would have happened if I hadn’t started working with Sandy.
President Market Reach
In the meantime, keep Reaching…
Quite awhile back, in On Walden Pond, Henry David Thoreau penned one of my favorite quotations: “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.” Later in his book, Thoreau furthers this sentiment by expressing that most people continue suffering all along to their graves, never having “sung their song”.
Does this sound like you? Did you subscribe to this e-letter because you really do want something more, but you’re not ready to ask for the help you need? Do you open these emails—when there is actually time—in the hope of finding something that will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be in your business, your career, or your life?
Since I make it pretty clear what I’ve devoted my life to, maybe you’re fairly sure I could help you. Maybe I could teach you to overcome your fears-or the gaps in your marketing, sales or people skills that keep you from growing your business or accelerating your career.
But you’re worried about the cost or the potential embarrassment of talking about yourself to a “stranger.” You’re not sure whether working with me-or any coach-will work, or that you’ll stick to your commitment.
Just do it! There isn’t more anyone can say to you. It’s a “baby step” on the ladder to your High Diving Board. Arrange to talk with me for thirty minutes. I won’t pressure you to work with me. I’ll answer all of your questions-and I’ll help you walk away with some good feelings about your situation. Call me at 888-289-5551 or e-mail me.
Or, continue to view your situation in “quiet desperation” until it’s just too painful!
Having Sandy as my coach has helped me discover what I want to accomplish and what actions I need to take to get there. He’s an impartial third party who provides guidance, validation and support. Having a professional colleague to bounce ideas off, outside my organization, has been invaluable. While my appointments with Sandy are in the evening, I have grown from utilizing his ‘contact me during the work day’ service to get a second opinion before executing strategies.
Joan is a sales representative for a company that supplies a line of software solutions to other businesses.
Joan told me she was unhappy with her company because she wasn’t selling enough to earn a decent living. In addition, her manager didn’t give her enough support, and she didn’t think the pricing of their products was sufficiently competitive. She was applying to other companies, but she was worried she would find the same problems in a new environment.
Joan is a good sales person. She’s not afraid to reach out to new companies, and she’s great with people. She knows how to ask questions, listen to answers, and give clients suggestions that make real sense for them. I asked her to look more closely at the reasons she was unhappy, and we discovered that she was not doing well because she was “holding back”. She had been burnt by her former employer and had been—albeit unconsciously—avoiding doing what she did best: developing relationships with clients and advising them as to what she believed were the best solutions.
Once Joan gave herself permission to deepen her relationships with clients and do what she does best, she started making sales. Her company has some wonderful solutions, she tells me, but most of all, she’s enjoying doing her work.
Enjoy this issue of Reaching…
In a world with so many coulds, woulds, shoulds and wants, how do you know how to select what’s best for you—what will make you successful?
Is it being way rich, way famous, way beautiful or way powerful? Or is something that comes from the inside? Here’s how you tell:
- First, complete this sentence: “I know how successful I am by how _________(fill in the blank).” It’s important that you use this exact sentence structure and these words, because this will help you know not only how you define success for yourself, but when you are being successful.
- Next, tweak your answer until you feel a tingle—and you know you’ve written what you truly believe. Here’s another place some coaching can help, but you can also do it yourself if you give it time and focus.
- Finally, start living in a way that has you doing the thing that makes you feel successful. Notice how having this statement in writing starts to tug you in small—or even significant—ways toward doing what makes you feel the best.
Do this exercise for three things that make you feel successful…and you will become more and more successful every day.
I said it last year, but it’s worth repeating, as we approach another Thanksgiving: I’m thankful that I have a great family, incredible friends and clients who inspire me even while they are hoping for some inspiration from me. I’m thankful for the feedback and encouragement I get from so many of you about these letters, my workshops and the help I’ve tried to give you through coaching; and that you’re spreading the word to people you care about.
These—along with the red sunrises and the purple sunsets—are only a few of the many reasons I have to give thanks.
It’s all connected
This month I was honored to present a workshop on motivating team members at a Toastmaster’s District Conference in Pennsylvania. I was also fortunate to catch the short motivational talk delivered by speaker Ty Howard.
“Good, better, best…never let it rest,” he began, “Until your good gets better and your better gets best.”
“Are you green and growing,” he asks, “or ripe and dying?”
I’ve often told clients that you need to decide what you want to accomplish and then expect to succeed. Ty says the same thing in another way: You need to (1) Commit to showing up prepared, expecting to succeed; (2) Decide to stretch for your best daily; (3) Enjoy where you’re going and what you’re doing; and (4) Do your best with everything you do.
I’ve watched a client commit to improving his health by running with his dog and have seen that one small change result in an increase in business. It’s all connected, isn’t it?
…Attract what you want instead
If you are struggling with something—STOP! Hard work is often necessary if you want to succeed at something. But struggling usually isn’t, and doesn’t generally get you what you want any faster. Stop struggling and try instead to focus on the belief that you can have it. You have to be willing to allow yourself to have it.
Dozens of times during the last year, clients have called me to tell me how—miraculously—something we were working towards came…from a totally unexpected source. In almost every case, this “miracle” occurred after I asked them to stop struggling and start taking small steps in the direction they wanted to go.
Many coaches refer to this phenomenon as attraction. The theory is that if you are actively pursuing a dream, it will come—but maybe not from the place you thought it would. Trust that if you stop struggling and, instead, focus your energy on what you want and believe it will come—it will.
In the meantime, keep REACHING…
I am excited about joining Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup For The Soul), Jeff Keller (Attitude is Everything), Zev Saftlas (Motivation That Works) and several other great motivators as a guest speaker on Empoweringmessages.com.
You can visit this incredible web site and click on any speaker for 5-7 minutes of motivational audio. While you’re there, you can subscribe to receive a new motivational audio message from a famous (and occasionally not-so-famous) author, public speaker and celebrity. To hear my seven-minute message, “The Power of Taking Action,” go directly to http://empoweringmessages.com/guests/025-SandySchussel.shtml
In the meantime, keep REACHING…
Often we’re so busy finding the things in our lives we want to fix, we forget how much we have to be thankful for. I, for one, have a great family, incredible friends and clients who inspire me even while they are hoping for some inspiration from me.
In September, dozens of you joined me for my two telephone workshops—first the workshop on How to Introduce Yourself for the most impact, and then, 10 Steps to Overcoming Fear, a workshop based on the program outlined in my book, The High Diving Board. (CDs from these workshops will be available next month on my Web Site.)
In October, I found myself teaching a class on starting a business that works for New York University’s Marketing and Management Institute. The class was attended by 36 exceptional people—nearly all of whom have the drive and dedication to make it happen.
This month, I was honored to be asked to speak at the annual awards dinner of the Southern NJ Chapter of the Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers on November 20th. Two days later, I’ll be sharing my 10 Steps to Overcoming Fear Workshop with Toastmasters District 38 at our Fall Conference in Clark’s Summit, PA.
All of these things are reasons to give thanks above and beyond the red sunrises and the purple sunsets.
Thank you for your part in making this part of my life the best so far.
The Power of “1”…
My good friend Marv taught me the Power of “1” a few years ago. When you’re done with your phone calls, make 1 more. When you’ve set enough appointments, set 1 more. When you’ve made enough sales, make 1 more. While the message was intended as a motivational tool for sales people, it works in everything we do. When you’ve said “I love you” enough times, say it 1 more time.
The doctors gave Marv less than a year to live, but the Power of “1”—one more year, one more week, one more day–kept him going for more than 3 years. During that time, he saw his son and daughter married, and met and played with both of his grandchildren.
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